This letter has been sent to the Danish Minister for Gender Equality and the Prime Minister's Office regarding equality and human rights for children and fathers. The letter has been prepared in collaboration with a team of human rights lawyers. Please support the petition. 


To: The Minister for Gender Equality

Copy: Prime Ministry

Copenhagen, 30-10-2020


Subject . Ministerial responsibility

The Danish father association with this letter refer to the Ministerial Accountability Act and Denmark's legal obligations in accordance to especially the UN Convention on Children 's articles 2, 3 and 7 as well as the European Human Rights convention articles 6, 8, 14 and 17th

It is a human right for a child to know and be cared for by his parents. It is a human right to gain respect for family life and protection against discrimination. In addition to the fact that it is a human right to have a fairly equal review of civil rights within a reasonable time.

The association Far submitted tea in 2017 'The world's first gender equality catalog for children and fathers' with 12 themes and 348 points , which has been prepared in Denmark. Upon checking the catalog for 2020, we can state that more points have been added than put in order . This is despite clear documentation of human rights violations against the responsible ministries and ministers.

The themes and points contained in the catalog for 2017 and 2020 are by comparison the following :


                                                        2017 2020 Theme 1 - Biological parenting 25 26                          

Topic 2 - Public information 20 2 1                                                      

Theme 3 - Fathers' leave 21 2 1                                                                    

Theme 4 - Residence and visitation parents 30 2 9                                                        

Theme 5 - The child's finances 23 2 2                                                      

Theme 6 - International t parenting 21 2 0                                        

Theme 7 - Public child cases 95 9 8 Theme 8 - Violence against children and fathers 52 5 8                                                      

Theme 9 - Fathers' responsibilities 12 1 1                                                      

Theme 10 - Lawyer methods 17 18                                                      

Theme 11 - Funding, Statistics and Research 17 1 8                          

Theme 12 - How can this happen? 15 24                                                      

Total points 348 36 6                                                                    

With this letter, the association Far wants to express its regret over this disappointing development. Where elsewhere in society as a whole there are widespread efforts to promote equality, the rights of fathers have gone the opposite way. The responsible ministers and authorities, as well as the legislature, should rectify this without delay .



We are willing to provide advice and guidance, as we can muster a great deal of experience and insight in the field, both in general and concretely, and on that basis assume that this letter leads to a very early commencement of mutual meetings and discussions.  


Should our expectations in this regard are not true, look we ourselves reverse forced to go to court with action also against the relevant and competent authorities. In our opinion, the Supreme Court judgment of 8 September 2020 in the case BS-20880/20-HJR shows a clear responsiveness and understanding that the balance in due regard between child, mother and father must be maintained without habitual prejudice.


Here we shall give a few examples of the breach , we experience for children and fathers and parents as a whole in Denmark in accordance with human rights law .

Digital mail


All 1.1 million children and their fathers will have experienced , there are government documents , they do not receive in connection with everyday circumstances, paternity leave, health research, satisfaction surveys, schools and institutions or children's cases. They are not always aware of it yourself , or the letters they receive , before they stand in the middle of the problem. It can be about completely ordinary things or can be very serious.


In connection with the public informing with digital post a simple explanation of why the mail is not sent to both parents : d er in Denmark does not make a list of all children under 18 in relation to custody and orienteringsret. This is because , the data missing key in CPR registry, why can not all be automated public alerts of children with both parents.


This means great costs for society in manual workflows at schools, municipalities, hospitals and for the state. In addition to the loss of knowledge, human error and loss of citizen satisfaction and respect.

The relationship was first identified in 2014 after meetings with D igitaliseringsstyrelsen and control of the Association Father .

If a lle municipalities , regions, vendors and IT systems have to provide data instead of retrieve data easily somewhere central , there will be human error , and it will still not happen in many situations because of time and resources. In addition , the exclusion rules can be regarded as real sexist , since it is public t employees with often outdated education and culture as well as significant over-representation of women s to assess , on one 's father for example. must have digital mail about the child .


Paternity leave

In relation to parental leave, there has still been no extension in Denmark of the earmarked leave for fathers from 14 days to e.g. 3 months or those adopted by the EU for a minimum of 2 months .

It is by no means correct to claim that children and fathers today have a free choice . This can be documented in studies with Danish fathers on leave , which establish that rights, family finances and information are the problem in the order mentioned .


B arsels Executive Order ns § 8 , para. 2 clarifies addition , the government-funded leave goes to the parent , the child resides most of the disagreement, såfrem t parents do not live together . It means in practice , that the father and child left without rights, since they may experience its dissolution , if they demand their rights.

Politician e and the principal authorities are often not aware of , that maternity laws of B eskæftigelsesministeriet that assigns children and fathers a possible right , gives way to family law for between 33% and 50% of the Danish children and fathers and families.


Children and fathers can often be given an opportunity, agreement and right to paternity leave, which can not be practiced anyway , because the Parental Responsibility Act does not deal with leave , and in case of disagreement, visitation must be granted between the parents or in the Family Court, which does not happen. Here, too, it is a cult watch based on often outdated education and research with a marked female quotient, which is crucial . In addition, the co-mother can obtain the same leave, but the co-father is not recognized in the legislation.


E rfaringer ne in the other Nordic countries demonstrates , however, that paternity leave there works.


Residence and the concept of togetherness

The most severe and discriminatory gender problem in Denmark is deemed to be resident and activity sharing concept , which was introduced - suddenly - in 2007 /2008 when joint custody became the norm for fathers . The concept has in practice put the joint custody out of force .

One must of course not divide a large part of the population (33% -50%) , as is the case with children today , who do not live with father and mother , with different rights as a starting point . About 2 million. children, parents and grandparents are affected and stand with different rights in the same situation. It can have very serious stab e quences for the children.


It is also resident - and togetherness concept remarkable t , to public welfare for children , for example. social grants, free process and for that matter au-pair arrangements , only awarded to bopælsforæld transferee and not base s on actual needs and the same opportunity. It is not u common , that a visiting parent, for example. in a 7/7 scheme earns at least today and may become unemployed or ill. Here the same rules apply not for welfare services to citizens based on residency - and togetherness concept , which runs against all common sense and fairness. It is very gross and serious discrimination of citizens , which creates social vulnerability in society .






Since 2012, the Father Association has pointed out the seriousness of changing governments. We experience , that it is relatively t si elt a t ensure a modern legislation and practices that will le have a preventive effect , and which complies with the fundamental human right. It is about understanding, willingness and accountability in the Danish ministries and with ministers , officials and politicians.

The crucial thing is to ensure modern family law , which is based on the child's rights and needs of both his parents as the starting point and equal opportunities . The association Father has set three basic principles and 10 guidelines , which can ensure this by reference to gender catalogs . We recommend i.a. , The F amilieretshuset closed , and the introduction of equivalent legislation with equal time for children with both parents as a starting point. Parents wish otherwise , they may make an agreement thereon , or if d is a parent or one specialist , who cares for the situation , can they contact the family law, which instead be strengthened in order to better coordinate and modern training and more staff. That anything-just provide faster and better processing and more prevention in family life while respecting human rights ten for all citizens. Research into the positive benefits of joint custody is significant and clear today. With the latest experience , it cannot be rejected from a research point of view that the best thing for the child from a life perspective is, as a starting point , joint parenthood. Family law must therefore be based on shared parenthood with the ability to take individual and specific decisions of the individual b a RN. There must not be based on discrimination in general and in gender discrimination , in particular against the citizens of family law , such as the case is today.




Book ' The World's First Equality Catalog for Children and Fathers - V ersion 2020 '



Jesper Lohse, MBA / Landsformand
Foreningen Far
Mobil 26229730


Foreningen Far • Fruebjergvej 3 • 2100 København Ø • • cvr. 29439001

Foreningen Far ønsker med denne skrivelse at udtrykke sin beklagelse over denne skuffende udvikling. Hvor der ellers i samfundet som helhed er udbredte bestræbelser på at fremme ligestilling, er det med hensyn til fædres rettigheder gået den modsatte vej. Dette burde ansvarlige ministre og myndigheder samt lovgiver ufortøvet rette op på.

Vi stiller os beredvilligt til rådighed med råd og vejledning, da vi kan mønstre stor erfaring og indsigt på området både generelt og konkret og går på den baggrund ud fra, at denne skrivelse fører til meget snarlig påbegyndelse af indbyrdes møder og drøftelser.      

Skulle vores forventning i den henseende ikke holde stik, ser vi os omvendt nødsaget til at gå til domstolene med søgsmål også mod relevante og ansvarlige myndigheder. Højesteretsdom af 8. september 2020 i sagen BS-20880/20-HJR viser efter vores opfattelse en klar lydhørhed og forståelse for, at balancen i behørig hensyntagen mellem barn, mor og far skal varetages uden vante fordomme.

Vi skal her give et par eksempler på de brud, vi oplever for børn og fædre samt forældre som helhed i Danmark i henhold til menneskeretten.

Digital post

Alle 1.1 millioner børn og deres fædre vil have oplevet, at der er offentlige skrivelser, de ikke modtager i forbindelse med hverdagsforhold, fædreorlov, sundhedsforskning, tilfredshedsmålinger, skoler og institutioner eller børnesager. De er ikke altid klar over det selv, eller hvilke skrivelser de ikke modtager, før de står midt i problemstillingen. Det kan handle om helt almindelige ting eller være meget alvorligt.

Der er i forbindelse med den offentlige informering med digital post en simpel forklaring på, hvorfor posten ikke sendes til begge forældre: der kan i Danmark ikke laves en liste over alle børn under 18 år i forhold til forældremyndighed og orienteringsret. Det skyldes, at data mangler centralt i CPR-registret, hvorfor der ikke kan ske automatisering af offentlige informering om børn til begge forældre.

Det betyder store omkostninger for samfundet i manuelle arbejdsgange på skoler, kommuner, hospitaler og for staten. Foruden at der sker tab af viden, menneskelige fejl samt mistes borgertilfredshed og respekt.

Forholdet blev første gang påpeget i 2014 efter møder med Digitaliseringsstyrelsen og kontrol af Foreningen Far.

Hvis alle kommuner, regioner, leverandører og it-systemer selv skal skaffe data i stedet for at hente data nemt et sted centralt, vil der opstå menneskelige fejl, og det vil fortsat ikke ske i mange situationer på grund af tid og ressourcer. Dertil kommer, at undtagelsesregler må anses at virke kønsdiskriminerende, da det er offentligt ansatte med en ofte forældet uddannelse og kultur samt markant overrepræsentation af kvinder, der skal vurdere, om en far f.eks. skal have digital post om barnet.


I forhold til forældreorlov er der fortsat ikke i Danmark sket en udvidelse af den øremærkede orlov til fædre fra 14 dage til f.eks. 3 måneder eller de af EU vedtagne minimum 2 måneder.

Det er på ingen måde korrekt at påstå, at børn og fædre i dag har et frit valg. Det kan dokumenteres i undersøgelser med danske fædre på orlov, som fastslår, at rettigheder, familie økonomien og informering er problemet i den nævnte rækkefølge.

Barselsbekendtgørelsens § 8, stk. 2 præciserer derudover, at den statsligt finansierede orlov går til den forælder, som barnet opholder sig mest hos ved uenighed, såfremt forældrene ikke bor sammen. Det vil i praksis sige, at far og barn står uden rettigheder, da de kan opleve samlivets ophør, hvis de kræver deres ret.

Politikere og de overordnede myndigheder er ofte ikke klar over, at barselslovgivningen i Beskæftigelsesministeriet, som tildeler børn og fædre en mulig ret, viger for familie lovgivningen for mellem 33% og 50% af de danske børn og fædre samt familier. 

Børn og fædre kan ofte stå med en mulighed, aftale og ret til fædreorlov, som så alligevel ikke kan praktiseres, fordi forældreansvarsloven ikke omhandler orlov, og der ved uenighed skal tildeles samvær til orlov mellem forældrene eller i Familieretshuset, hvilket dog ikke sker. Også her er der tale om en kultur baseret på ofte forældet uddannelse og forskning med en markant kvindekvotient, hvilket har udslagsgivende betydning. Derudover kan medmor opnå samme orlov, men medfar anerkendes ikke i lovgivningen. 

Erfaringerne i de andre nordiske lande dokumenterer imidlertid, at fædreorloven dér virker.  

Bopæl og samværsbegrebet

Det mest alvorlige og diskriminerende ligestillingsproblem i Danmark må anses at være bopæl og samværsbegrebet, som blev indført – pludseligt - i 2007/2008, da fælles forældremyndighed blev normen for fædre. Begrebet har i praksis sat den fælles forældremyndighed ud af kraft. 

Man må naturligvis ikke opdele en så stor del af befolkningen (33%-50%), som tilfældet er med børn i dag, der ikke bor sammen med far og mor, med vidt forskellige rettigheder som udgangspunkt. Omkring 2 mio. børn, forældre og bedsteforældre rammes og står med forskellige rettigheder i samme situation. Det kan have meget alvorlige konsekvenser for børnene.

Det er samtidig med bopæl- og samværsbegrebet bemærkelsesværdigt, at offentlige velfærdsydelser for børn, f.eks. sociale tilskud, fri proces og for den sags skyld au-pair ordninger, alene tildeles til bopælsforælderen og ikke baseres på faktisk behov og samme mulighed. 

Det er ikke ualmindeligt, at en samværsforælder f.eks. i en 7/7 ordning tjener mindst i dag og kan blive arbejdsløs eller syg. Her gælder de samme regler ikke for velfærdsydelser for borgerne baseret på bopæl- og samværsbegrebet, hvilket strider imod enhver sund fornuft og rimelighed. Det er meget grov og alvorlig diskrimination af borgere, som skaber social udsathed i samfundet. 


Foreningen Far har siden 2012 påpeget alvoren overfor skiftende regeringer. Vi oplever, at det er forholdsvist enkelt at sikre en moderne lovgivning og praksis, som ville have forebyggende effekt, og som overholder den fundamentale menneskeret. Det handler om forståelse, vilje og ansvarlighed i de danske ministerier og hos ministre, embedsfolk og politikere.

Det afgørende er at sikre en moderne familielovgivning, som bygger på barnets ret og behov for begge sine forældre som udgangspunktet og lige muligheder. Foreningen Far har opstillet 3 grundprincipper og 10 retningslinjer, som kan sikre dette med henvisning til ligestillingskatalogerne. 

Vi anbefaler bl.a., at Familieretshuset lukkes, og at der indføres ligeværdig lovgivning med lige tid for børn med begge forældre som udgangspunkt. Ønsker forældrene andet, kan de lave aftale herom, eller hvis der er en forælder eller en fagperson, som har bekymringer for forholdene, kan de kontakte familieretten, der i stedet styrkes med henblik på bedre koordination og moderne uddannelse samt mere personale. Det vil alt-andet-lige give hurtigere og bedre sagsbehandling samt mere forebyggelse i familielivet samtidig med overholdelse af menneskeretten for alle borgere.

Forskningen i den positive gevinst af fælles forældremyndighed er markant og klar i dag. Det kan ikke med den nyeste erfaring afvises forskningsmæssigt, at det bedste for barnet set i livsperspektiv som udgangspunkt er fælles forældreskab. Familielovgivningen skal derfor bygge på fælles forældreskab med mulighed for at træffe individuelle og konkrete afgørelser for det enkelte barn. 

Der må ikke tages udgangspunkt i diskrimination i almindelighed og i kønsdiskrimination i særdeleshed over for borgerne i familielovgivningen, sådan som tilfældet er i dag. 


Hæfte ’Verdens første ligestillingskatalog for børn og fædre – Version 2020’


Jesper Lohse, MBA / Landsformand
Foreningen Far


Ligestillingens udvikling 2017 - 2020
Positiv fædre involvering
10 bud på ny lovgivning
Kapitel 1 - Forældreskab
Kapitel 2 - Offentlig informering
Kapitel 3 - Fædre orlov
Kapitel 4 – Barnets bopæl
Kapitel 5 - Barnets økonomi
Kapitel 6 - Internationale forældre
Kapitel 7 - Offentlige børnesager
Kapitel 8 - Vold mod børn og fædre
Kapitel 9 - Fædre ansvar
Kapitel 10 - Advokat metoder
Kapitel 11 - Støtte, statistik og forskning
Kapitel 12 - Hvordan kan det ske?
Nordisk benchmark